Zimmy in Wonderland
by star3catcher
Summary: A gift for my Wonderland-loving pal. Zim falls down the rabbit hole and learns of the power of the almighty Queen. What horror will this lead to? If you value your sanity, run. RUN NOW!
1. Wouldn't you rather read something else?

**When two strange little girls are talking to each other, what do they come up? This. What does one do? Write this. Why? Because they both wanted to see it. See? This is how STUFF happens. Amazing, yes? I'll bet it is.**

**Please no that I am no Wonderland expert. I am mainly basing this on what I've seen from hundreds of adaptions, read on wikipedia, and what my best friend/big sister has told me.**

**I LOVE YOU SISSSSSSSSSSY! THIS STORY IS FOR YOU!**

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Oh, what would have happened that day if steps had been taken differently? I'm afraid that I shall never have the grace nor honor to tell you. This fanfic I assure you, is not for the weak of heart or mind. Within it, you shall find no logic. No peace of mind. It may shock you. It may frighten you. It may even _**HORRIFY**_ you!

Wouldn't you rather read something much more cheerful, something filled with bunnies, cheerleaders, rocket ships, and a great big, fun-loving, musical number at the end?

Yes? Good bye.

No? Haven't you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat? And then afterwords the zombie of that same cat took it's revenge on it's owner by slapping them with a pancake till death?

Oh well. I shall not be responsible if you are a bad pet owner who reads such unfortunate fanfics such as this. Shame on you.

It all started with a snoopy character with a very large head, whose name is currently a crime to say in 78 1/2 different countries. Since I do not wish to be breaking any law of a country that my readers may, or may not hold dear to their hearts, we shall just simply refer to this very sinister, very LARGE-HEADED, young lad as "Dib"...

Dib came crashing out a door, and dashed along the gnome ridden lawn clutching the camera as if for dear life. Which of course, we all know is ridiculous. If he had just dropped the thing he'd have a FAR better chance of living.

"DIB-STINK!"

Another being came crashing from the poor, abused, mens' restroom door. That poor door. Anyway, here we meet a very green young man whose name still causes young children to cry for their mommy's and soil their sheets every time it is mentioned. Those poor sheets.

Since I have no desire to add to the heavy burden that all psychiatrists and bed sheet manufacturers already carry on their low, underpaid backs, we shall simply refer to this awful character as "Zim"...

Zim adjusted his wig so angrily, that it was slanting toward one side. It didn't matter. No one on the stinking planet would care, as they were too blinded by their everyday lives to even see an Irken invader trying to kill them all. His only priority right now was to catch that retched human!

Dib put on a burst of speed and raced into the cul-de-sac. From there, he ran on and on till he reached one of the few peaceful places in this chaotic world, the Park.

"GYAH!" screeched Dib (who I may have forgotten to mention had a rather disturbing habit of talking to himself). "Jeeze, did you see him? He almost looks as ticked as at the Halloween incident! So much organ squeezing..."

Here Dib shuddered- A word here which means, "to tremble at the memory at a horrible robotic tentacle nearly squeezing all his delicious insides to the point of becoming jelly by an extremely ticked off alien on a rather unspeakable Halloween night".

"Zim going to be after to me like a spider on a fly at any moment for these photos I took, and he'll either use Gir or those spider-legs of his to do it! Hence the reference to spiders and flies." rambled on Dib, "Heh... spider and flies..."

Here Dib decided to make the very foolish, very unfortunate mistake of stopping and talking to himself... some more.

"It almost scares me at how brilliant I am at making up references like that on the spot," said Dib proudly, "Yeah... awesome..." He nodded.

A voice interrupted his vain (a word here which means "full of one's self to the point of being vulnerable to an on-coming rampaging Irken's attack") thoughts.

"It scares me at how you just stop to talk to yourself like that."

The sarcastic female voice came from a young lady with hair the shade of violet, Dib's very own flesh and blood I must say. Who, at the very sound of her true name, would send a flock of rabid flamingos straight to your town to feast on human flesh. I love you way too much to forsake you in such a way.

So we will just call this scary girl, "Gaz." She leaned against a tree, keeping in the shadows very... shadowy...

"Gaz?" said Dib, surprised.

Suddenly, a long spider-leg slammed into Dib, knocking him into a near-by streetlight. His camera skidded across the grass and at Gaz's feet.

"NO!" exclaimed Dib.

"You lose again Dib-beast!" said Zim, who had Dib pinned.

"Not yet I don't! GAZ! THE CAMERA!" Dib reached out to his younger sister, "TAKE IT! RUN!"

Gaz responded by grunting then walking away, kicking to camera a little off to the side.

"Gaz?" Dib exclaimed shocked. But then he changed his expression of annoyance, what exactly did he expect from his sister who hated his guts?

Zim didn't care about the Gaz-human, or the Dib-beast's feelings. All he knew was the one thing that could prove his true identity was only a few feet away. He deactivated his spider-legs, and lunged at the camera.

"Oh no you don't space-boy!" Dib grabbed Zim's leg making him fall to the ground.

A struggle between them soon began. Dib tried to throw several punches and scratches at Zim, while Zim did his best to hold him back and look for the camera at the same time.

Many people stopped to stare at young boys fighting. No one intervened though. Intervened, in case you were wondering, is a word here which means, "no one bothered to pull the boys apart from each other, because everyone thought they were just preforming a jiggy new dance that was in style at the time." Seriously.

Anyway, Zim finally kicked Dib off of him and made another desperate jump for the camera.

That's when it happened.

The very thing in which my lack of grace and honor forces me to tell you through senseless rambling and bad attempts to sound like a certain suspicious, shady, double-crossing, unfortunate author whose name I refuse mention.

Oh, woe is me. Woe is you. Why did it happen? But it did. And if you read on you shall be burdened with the heavy sorrow of an incident that the cruel fates ordained.

Zim fell down a rabbit hole.

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**LOOK OUT FOR CHAPTER 2! YEAH!**

**I OWN NOTHING! Oh, and just so you know, yes I AM slightly parodying Lemony Snicket's writing style. Don't expect it to be good parodying though.**


	2. I now have piano tea set phobia

**CHAPTER 2!**

**I own nothing.**

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If you've never fallen down a rabbit hole, let me say it is a sinking feeling for a first timer. The first time I fell, I was pulled down by my beloved older sister. As much as I love her to death, I seriously felt like I was about to have a heart-attack. What first-timer wouldn't, what with all the random STUFF floating around, looking like it could smack you in the face at any moment.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Zim. He continued to scream as he flipped around, trying to shield his face in case he happens to fall into any of the objects floating around him. Having experience to speak from, Zim knew it hurt very much to slam into a piano, or into china glass tea cups (long story, do not even ask...).

Zim span around and around in his fall, flailing his arms to see if he could somehow be like a bird, and hover. Such attempts were futile, and Zim's expression showed pure distress.

"What is this?" Zim exclaimed, "Zim does not ever remember mapping this out on the Earth!"

After dodging a series of various tea sets, pocket watches, bed springs, silverware, arm chairs, tables, books, chairs, boats, dressers, grand pianos, grandfather clocks, fishing kits, bookcases, shelves, canopy beds, musical instruments, tea sets- wait, I already said tea sets... oh well. Zim landed.

"OOMF!" he landed on the ground with, what hyperactive, unsupervised children of this generation call, "a rough landing."

Zim rubbed his sore buttocks area, and surveyed his surroundings. He was sitting on a small patch of hard-packed dirt, and when he looked up, could see a small spot of light for which he guessed must have been the very hole he had fallen down through. Under normal circumstances, Zim might have used his advanced Irken technology to climb back up. But these were not normal circumstances, and he really didn't feel like dodging several hundred more flying objects of death...

Zim got up and looked around him. He realized his small dirt patch actually bled into the tiled floor of medium-sized empty room. All along the walls were several doors, and in the middle of the room, a table.

Zim immediately began to run back and forth from the doors, seeing if one would open. None of them would as they were all, unfortunately, locked. Exasperated, a phrase here with means, "tired and fed up with these doors, and beginning to wonder if he'd ever get out of this place" Zim leaned on one door, and tried to think things over.

Suddenly, he spotted a key on the table in the middle of the room. Encouraged, Zim grabbed the the key and tried all the doors again. Nothing. Except for the tiniest door... that one flew right open. But it was so small he couldn't go through.

"UGH!" Zim began to bang his head against one of the other doors until he got very dizzy and started seeing double.

Now it just so happens that when Zim saw double, he saw not two little bottles on the table where the key formerly was. He snapped back to sense and saw one bottle. Oh well, less IS more...

Zim walked up to the table, and snatched a small bottle off of it. He turned it around in his gloved hands, and saw a small tag with writing on it. Zim squinted his eyes to read it.

" 'Drink me'..." Zim read off the tag.

There was a moment of awkward silence. Which is strange being awkward, since Zim was the only one in that room and you and I can only communicate through pre-written text...

"NO BOTTLE TELLS ZIM WHAT TO DO!" Zim snapped, then raised his hand to chuck the bottle. At the last second, Zim stopped himself from his flash of insanity, brought the bottle back down and continued to look at it.

"Buuuut..." pondered Zim, "I am rather thirsty..." he took a swooping look around the room, "And this DOES seem to be the only other form of communication here... oh well! That the cold, unfeeling robot said! ALWAYS accept strange food from strangers!"

So with that, Zim popped the top a gulped a big sip of the strange liquid.

As we all know kids, you should never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever drink strange liquids from an unknown bottle set there by an unknown stranger in the real world.

But this isn't the real world, it's a freaking fanfic! So why are you complaining, huh?

After drinking the strange liquid out of the strange bottle set there by a strangely unseen strange stranger, something... _strange_ happened.

Everything around Zim began to grow.

"I-I'm shrinking!" Zim was shocked, "This is TERRBIBLE! A RESPECTABLE IRKEN ELITE LIKE MYSELF SHOULD GROW TALLER, NOT SHORTER!"

He looked up.

"AND I left the key on the table? How much worse can this day get?"

Oh, much worse. So very much worse. If only "better" could be applied to little tiny Zim's situation! But sadly enough, "better" was not in the vocabulary... of the Wonderland Zone.

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**Will Zim ever get out? Oh I think you know the answer. Please insert "Twilight Zone" music here.**

**Oh, and "Wonderland Zone" IS supposed to be making fun of "Twilight Zone."**


End file.
